Fucking classic.
The Stoner Jesus Chronicles
The home of the one and only Stoner Jesus
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Stoner Commandment #8
Stoner Commandment #8: Thou shall smoke your weed for free with a hot chick (or hot guy depending on your situation). A chance at sex is worth the smoke you give up.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Stoner Commandment #7
Stoner Commandment #7: Thou shall not spill the bong water. That shit reeks dude, you have no idea.
The Stoner Bible: Chapter1, Verse 3
Do not judge, lest people be judgin' on you.
So, I'm chillin' with my crew...my posse...my...dudes I hang with. Smokin' the ganj, creepin' on some bitches. But my moms, The Virgin Mary, starts wiggin' on me, talkin' about the bad crowd I'm runnin' with.
"They're no good Jesus," she would say to me. "They'll end up dead or in prison."
"Well," I said, "if they die I can raise them from the dead." Moms didn't think that was funny...it's just Jesus humor yo.
But I liked my new homies. John The Baptist, Peter The Rock, Matthew The Buzzkill (Matthew liked to talk a lot during doobage, hence Stoner Commandment #1). There was also James The Pimp, Judas The Bitch, and Mary The Train Track...I hope I don't need to explain that last one, it's very graphic.
Moms thought we were up to no good, but we were out spreading the message of the miracle weed. We gained new followers every day...
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So, I'm chillin' with my crew...my posse...my...dudes I hang with. Smokin' the ganj, creepin' on some bitches. But my moms, The Virgin Mary, starts wiggin' on me, talkin' about the bad crowd I'm runnin' with.
"They're no good Jesus," she would say to me. "They'll end up dead or in prison."
"Well," I said, "if they die I can raise them from the dead." Moms didn't think that was funny...it's just Jesus humor yo.
But I liked my new homies. John The Baptist, Peter The Rock, Matthew The Buzzkill (Matthew liked to talk a lot during doobage, hence Stoner Commandment #1). There was also James The Pimp, Judas The Bitch, and Mary The Train Track...I hope I don't need to explain that last one, it's very graphic.
Moms thought we were up to no good, but we were out spreading the message of the miracle weed. We gained new followers every day...
Subscribe to this blog so you don't miss a thing!
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